"Yes! That's it!" gasped Arthur.
"I am Sherlock Holmes! I see that now.
In fact I have always known it! Well, I've always thought I'd look good with a pipe, at least!"

Good thing Arthur and Lawrence have realized their sleuth-ancestry - they are quite clearly Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson, detectives extraordinaire(Or not.) Their first case is to get to the bottom of the mysterious appearance of marauding Neanderthals in the boys' toilets at Bassleton School. Could the time-travelling cavemen have something to do with the curious rumblings beneath Thornaby's streets - rumblings like trains on an underground railway?

Can Arthur:

*Solve the mystery of the time train?

*Rid Bassleton of the lechy new teacher, Mr "yup, I know where you're coming from, dude" Toppol?

*Finally get off with Gwen?

Extract

There are rips in the very fabric of time all around Thornaby bringing with them havoc and trouble from all different eras. Lawrence has been mugged by cavemen and one naughty boy found himself in trouble he shouldn't have been in for at least another day. Despite this, Arthur's more bothered about bothering Mr Toppol, the school's kind and handsome new physics teacher and find out just why all the girls (including Gwen) fancy him. Right now he's stalking Toppol in his classroom.

The last of the pupils filed out of the physics room after collecting their coats from the rack. Each of them sighed and silently gestured at the boy-shaped lump in the last remaining inside-out coat, and the long legs sticking out from under it. Mr Toppol chewed his little finger nail and wondered how best to address the semi-concealed boy who had been hiding in his class all the previous lesson. He'd noticed him straight away, as had everyone, but was far too polite to make a spectacle of the boy in front of an entire class.
But now they'd gone for lunch.
"Erm,' Mr Toppol said, then coughed, "Arthur, would you like me to go and get you a sandwich, or will you be leaving the coat rack to take lunch with the other pupils in the hall?"
Arthur slowly moved his own coat to one side and eyed Mr Toppol curiously.
"Okay, how did you know I was here?," asked the boy King.
"I saw you come in, hang your coat up and hide behind it. Curious behaviour enough, some might say, but you stuck out because I know you're not a member of 2PMY."
"That doesn't explain how you know my name's Arthur."
"I have heard talk of you. Oh, and I read the large tag showing on the inside of your coat." Arthur shifted his eyes to see the massive sewn in nametag with Property Of Arthur King written on it. He cursed his mother for her lack of faith in him. "But you have to admire my panther-like agility to stay stock still for the entire hour."
"I do, I'm very impressed. You must have muscles and sinew like iron. Well done. No, it was the humming you were doing that wasn't so impressive."
"Oh right. Yeah well, you know what it's like when you have a song stuck in your head."
"I know, I know, I do, I truly do. Erm, it's the one off that sanitary towel advert isn't it? You sang it well."
"I was singing too?," asked Arthur incredulously.
"Yes. And snoring. You must have nodded off."
"Oh right. I had a bit of a rough night," sighed Arthur stepping out from behind his coat. He looked Mr Toppol up and down and shook his head, totally unimpressed by this handsome and sweet natured individual. Good looking and kind, what right minded woman would be taken in by so little, thought Arthur. Mr Toppol smiled nicely and a pregnant pause gave birth to an awkward moment.
"Why are you spying on me, Arthur?," asked Mr Toppol finally. "Have I done something to offend you? I apologise if I have."
"Spying on you! Don't flatter yourself."
"Is it extra science then? If you want you can join my after school science club."
I do one every Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights. They're very popular, but I could squeeze you in tonight if you like. Shall I can pencil you in?"
Mr Toppol took a slip of paper from his desk and signed it. He offered it to Arthur. "It's an after school pass, you'll need it to stay on school property.
All my club members need one." He smiled and nodded at the slip of paper.
"Don't try and get round me, I don't want free membership to your fan club, thank you very much, Toppol."
"It's fun. We aren't governed by the national curriculum so we learn entertaining science things. How to make things blow up or disappear, cool stuff like you see on How 2. I made a pupil glow in the dark last week, it was a right laugh."
"It sounds awful. I wouldn't be seen dead at some poxy after school science club," sneered Arthur.
"Gwen Lott's coming tonight," said Mr Toppol smiling knowingly.
Arthur snatched the pass and quickly stuffed it in his pocket. "Fine, I'll come to your science club, Heir Toppol, but I'll be dammed if I'll enjoy myself." Arthur began to stride out.
"See you tonight, Arthur. Oh and don't call me Toppol tonight."
"Oh I get it, master and servant hey? Yes, MR Toppol. No MR Toppol. So you're not the easy going guy they claim after all. I knew you'd show your true colours sooner or later."
"No, I mean you can call me by my first name."
Oh, right,' said Arthur making a fist in his pocket.
"It's Lesta. That's not Lester, it's spelt like a Teessider would say it, L - E - S - T - A. Lesta. My family go back hundreds of years on Teesside and have always been proud of our Teesside accent. You know how outsiders would say Redcar, have you noticed we say Redca', missing off the last r. Or Frida' instead of Friday. Well, it's a tribute to that. But hey, I don't suppose you want to hear a boring old story about Northern colloquialisms and my family history do you." And Mr Toppol was quite correct, Arthur did not for he had left the room a good ten seconds ago.